Making progress

Getting closer to my life without money.  It’s a transitional phase, and I’m not fully feeling it yet since I’m still tied to my job and therefore have money flowing still.  But that will end soon and I’m working hard to reach that point.

My wisdom teeth extraction went well, so we will be posting my car for sale this weekend.

In addition, I got tested for STD’s yesterday.  My fiance is getting tested on Monday.  We have been afraid to do this.  It’s technically necessary each time you get involved with someone new, but I just trusted the situation when we got together because it always goes well… out of all the guys I’ve been with, nothing bad ever happened, as far as diseases go.  I’ve been extremely fortunate.  But I didn’t know that HE was NOT.

He contracted HPV a couple years ago and gave it to someone.  He ultimately continued to ignore the problem and not warn future partners.  He wanted to believe it would go away, since it usually does eventually, and he had no symptoms ever.  He didn’t realize- or at least did not research enough to learn- that men usually don’t have symptoms.  There’s not even a test for males when it comes to HPV.  He was living day-by-day, not thinking he would live all that long, and hated his life.  He wasn’t thinking much of his future because it already looked so bleak.  My emergence has changed all that, but he’s still getting used to the idea that life really does go on, and that he needs to prepare for what’s coming.  This is why I didn’t know in the beginning.  And that is my fault- I didn’t ask about STD’s before we had sex.  I am understanding of why he didn’t tell me.  He feels awful after realizing the mistake he made.

Doctor didn’t know yesterday that I wanted a pap smear- the only way to test for HPV- and didn’t have time for it.  And has vacation next week.  So I’m scheduled for the Monday after next to get that done.  I should see test results for the blood and urine before then.  Eager to know what’s next, but I can only wait. And my fiance’s STD test is this coming Monday, so we will learn about that soon as well.  He was also exposed to Hep C in the past couple years, but apparently that is hard to catch through sex.  She got it from a needle… ugh.  So yeah, we will find out about that through the blood tests, and at least that one is curable- if it hasn’t ravaged us enough already.

So there is some fear here, but at least the initial testing is almost complete.  All we can do is face the facts, which was scary to do, and we finally had to do it.

We decided that we can treat our potential STD’s with or without my insurance, so now that my wisdom teeth healing is going well, all I must do before quitting my job is sell my car.  We need to clean it up, do a bit of maintenance, and post it for sale this weekend.

My thoughts about God and all that- the real purpose of this website- will be revealed with a little more time.  Right now I’m explaining the physical steps that I must take.

Been going through a lot lately, it’s difficult.  But I feel solace in knowing I am truly following what I believe in, instead of settling for less like I have been for years.  My intentions have been good but I have taken it to a whole new level now.  Have to stop being afraid.  Face things.  Let go of things that do not truly serve us.

People were meant to be loved.  Things were meant to be used to help people.

Money is clearly not working.  If it were, Jesus would probably tell us to work hard to earn a lot of it.  But he didn’t.  He simply tells us what to do with it if it’s in our hands, and makes it clear that the amount doesn’t matter at all.  Like the old widow that donated just a few cents to the church, versus a lot of money donated by the rich people- Jesus said the widow gave the greater gift because it was all she had.

Money is not the answer, and I’m out to prove it.  God already took care of it, actually, from what I see.  The love in my life won’t let me go down, unless that’s meant for me.  I’m given the luxury of comfort in my time of transition- someone taking care of my basic needs while I whittle down on material things.  I am excited to get to that point, but have to get through this season first.  I will keep you updated.


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