Breaking it down

There’s a lot of evidence of Jesus having actually existed.  And I have lots of moments that feel supernatural to me and show me that I’m on the right track somehow, even if I’m not seeing it clearly.  I used to feel strongly that I need to determine one way or the other whether he existed and whether he is God.  At this point, though, that goal has shifted.  As if I’m realizing that the learning experience is never what we expect.

Walking around town tonight, I concluded a few things aloud: There is always a contrary statement to anything we can possibly say, when it comes down to small details.  And it can be hard to decide what’s truly best since the right answer for one person can be different for another, yet still be correct.

Upon thinking that, I reasoned that there is still something all these details come down to, behind the scenes, in the deepest sense: Love is the only thing that saves someone from darkness, in whatever form it manifests, big or small, even if only from within yourself.  Hate, when present, will always seek to destroy.  These 2 things are undeniable in my eyes.

Those 2 conclusions are in line with what Jesus says.  And still I cannot disagree with anything he said.

No matter what the truth about his supposed life is, I still stand by all the teachings.  They work in real time.  They make me stronger.  Not because I’m truly strong, but because I let strength in, in a way I always spoke of and wanted, but usually felt powerless to absorb.  It was all talk- letting the wisdom flow from me without seeing it applying to me, just believing in the principles anyway- and I couldn’t see what I was doing to prevent the blessings I needed.  It wasn’t money or beauty I needed.  There’s a sense of peace and understanding that has moved through me somehow and changed the way I approach this life, with enough time and patience to see the fruits of my latest labors.

Whatever this is, it works to clarify truth for me, even with all the additional questions that mount.

The more I’ve let this take me over, the more I see God being like- “Hey, look, here’s something you need to see as well, and I know you have wanted to see this.”  Like I’m in tune with some fundamental truths about what’s going on in my life and I am not left in the dark.  I am pointed to the truth constantly, in closer intervals all the time.

Something is happening, whatever it is, and I like it.


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