Interesting plateau

It often feels we’re on the brink of something.  At least I cannot imagine that I’m alone in feeling this!  Whether good or bad, or however long we think something might take to fully transpire, it always seems like something’s cooking behind the scenes, getting ready to take us by surprise.

Namely, WAR is on the forefront of many of our minds.  It’s going on everywhere outside the USA it seems like, so when’s it gonna hit here?  When is our protective bubble going to be popped on more than a regional scale?

Will all people ever realize it is ONE PLACE and that the only salvation is Love itself?

God, if you are anything that exists, you most surely are love.

Everyone ultimately strives for love.  No matter how twisted each approach is.  Everyone just wants what enables them to survive and thrive.  Therefore, love is the highest calling.  and it can be so hard for even the most peace-loving person to give or receive sometimes.

Even knowing that it’s always best to embrace, our fear can drive us to kill the killer- saving bodies, but further wounding everyone’s souls.

Is it truly one big soul divided amongst each living thing?  Individual souls?

I am not absolutely sure of very many things, but those I am are:

  1. Love- blanket term for anything related to it (grace, mercy, generosity, etc.)- solves every problem when one’s heart is somehow opened.
  2. We are not just physical beings- unless you count our souls as physical, which I do.  There are plenty of things our eyeballs cannot perceive on a conscious level that exist despite our blindness to them.

I think those are the only things I’m sure of.

I was sure about Jesus, and as you may expect, I’ve done a lot of thinking when it comes to him.  My old argument still stands: It’s been so long and he’s not physically here now.

My new arguments stand as well, though: There’s a lot of scientific evidence of his existence, I agree with every single one of his teachings (because they ALL relate to love), I kept having spiritual experiences, namely with the bible itself, and… well I could probably come up with more reasons but it’s not even necessary, I clearly have more foundation to believe in him than not to.

The reason for my major pivot is largely due to the fact that I entered a serious relationship with someone who’s not very interested in church.  We’re basically married now, and will be publicly official some time this summer.  He believes in everything I used to and still do (minus some minor variances), except the Christian part of my faith.

I’m really glad for this.  I cannot follow blindly, and I really needed to take a step back and look at my actions.

I had begun to feel obligated toward things that weren’t truly important.  

The church I attend is awesome, and I fully support them.  In a world full of evil, this church gathers SOOOO many people who truly want to be loving and are open to learning new things.  The exact kind of people we all wanna know, as I’ve described in an earlier entry.

It doesn’t matter to me who’s right or wrong as long as we stand with Love.  All else is just detail, when it comes to how a loving god would judge.

If we don’t know for sure that Jesus is our savior, a loving god would not condemn us for questioning or denying.  He would have to understand.  That’s what a father does: Loves and directs his child the best he can, while allowing free will.

I seek truth so deeply from everything within me every single day.  It can get quite overwhelming.

I didn’t like tacking on the idea of feeling obligated to gather at the building regularly.  I’ll be going again, but I’m seeking God at all times.  It doesn’t matter where I go.  I meet many Christians when I’m out and about.  We are the temple within ourselves, and we carry the church wherever we choose.

I also didn’t feel right about the money thing.  Church leaders asked for tithes, even though I found out today that it’s not something god asked for (see the bible).  One leader even made a joke about needing money.  Something like, “There’s no money in heaven, but it sure helps down here on earth!”  I was like… are you serious right now?

How is that following God’s true law?

If money doesn’t belong in God’s kingdom, why would it ever help us here?

It doesn’t.

The only advantage to the church having more money is the fact that it’s less power given to the wrong people.  Instead of someone having spent money on extra bullshit at walmart, they gave to the church, and the money was possibly used, at worse, for helping furnish the church itself.  Rather than a drop in the bucket for someone exploiting third-world families.

Well I guess there is a third thing I know: Resources have never been the issue.  It’s always been distribution.

No lucid dreams lately, but I’ve remembered more of my dreams when I wake.  We will get there again.  And when we do, it will be amazing.

The longer it takes, the more prepared I’ll be.  Because I’ll more fully appreciate it, the longer I wait.  And I’ll truly make the most of it when it happens.  So, just whenever the time comes.

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