The place I’m at in this phase of my journey.

Took me a while to upload the last entry.  I typed it in Word when I didn’t have internet.  Took laptop to work today.  Finally got it up and time-stamped and now it’s been 2 more months since I last wrote an entry, so it’s a good time to update ya.

Things are ever-crazy lately.  In a great way.  Horrible things happen as well.  I am falling in love with someone at the same time that people are being fucking maimed, raped, and killed in Aleppo.  I’d never even heard of Aleppo before this catastrophe.

People ask how anyone could do such a thing.  One common explanation is evil itself.

I go to bed every night with the one I love most.  While others are losing everyone they love.

God, “evil” is not a good enough answer for most people.  Can you please explain?  Lay it out in ways that we can understand, comprehend, maybe even feel okay about?

If it’s all for reasons in direction of the good, then we pray for revelation of those reasons.

On behalf of everyone, God, I ask the answers.

Everyone has a prayer deep in their hearts even if they won’t acknowledge it.  That’s where you come in, because you know everything about us.  You know everyone’s capacity to love.

Redemption isn’t always obvious.  Many times, it appears not to exist.  Can you please explain, God?

I have a ton of evidence that shows Jesus existed and really did the things they say he did, and really never sinned, and totally came back to life after being absolutely deaddddd with a ruined heart and lung for 3 fucking days, but there’s always that bit that God knows we’re going to ask: What if you have something else to reveal to us?  I’m open to your truth, whatever it is.  No matter what I’ve learned, I’m going to be wrong about some things.  You have all the answers.

The truth lies somewhere… OR DOES IT EVEN??

Lol there’s just so much information out there.  I believe in prayer and love as king.  That’s all I know.  The most important thing to remember is that it’s okay to be wrong when you truly don’t know.  God gets it.


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