I have to know the truth, God.

What is going on?

What is this plane/dimension?

Why can’t I just float upwards at will?  I am dying to know, God!  I need to know the truth about our existence.

It feels strange, living in this body, being STUCK on this planet.  When you think about it, it can get claustrophobic.  That even with such vast outer space, we can ONLY be on Earth so far without taking crazy precautions and not actually living out there except for NASA research or whatever.

To know there’s so much out there, but we are confined here, and possibly have neighboring intelligent life on some faraway planet in a faraway galaxy, makes me feel sooo tiny and wondering why it’s important for us to be so fucking complex when we are MINUSCULE, UNDETECTABLE from many miles out!  As I consider these things, I wonder why we are so intricately designed.  Why it innately feels like our lives matter, even if we hate ourselves.

And to think further, and be like, what’s beyond outer space and galaxies?  What’s more that we can’t even see, unlike anything we’ve discovered so far?

What are we here for?  I feel like I’m in a living dollhouse, it’s so weird to be human and I don’t know what we are.  The bible says stuff, but of course there are details that God did not reveal to us.  He only revealed what he wants us to know.  So I am asking all these questions.

I don’t know what it’s like to be dead, or at least I am not aware that I know.  I know what it’s like to be either awake or asleep.

I’m not gonna leave you alone about it, that’s the deal- I’m going to keep bringing it up to you.  The quest for truth.  I need the answer, God.  Whether in my dreams, in real life, or combo, or something else entirely, I pray for enlightenment.  I pursue it relentlessly.  Thank you for handling that.

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