It’s been forever. I started my new job and moved into a new place. So things have been crazy.
I am floored by what has happened. I became a church member in July.
That’s not even the most flooring thing, though. I have had amazing revelations when reaching out to the bible. Have been experiencing things that convict a person of the bible’s holiness.
I simply had 2 different moments that I was asking God for answers to big questions, and decided to open the bible randomly. Lo and behold, the passages I opened to both times described both EXACTLY was I was going through and EXACTLY the advice I needed. Fucking insane.
The bible was the last link in me becoming convicted of all this shit. I wasn’t so convinced it’s the word of God. But once I reached out with intention, to see what would happen, and such amazing results came of it, I was like WTF.
It happened just now, and I realized then that I REALLY need to update here.
This time, I was asking God about my sexual activity. I wanted to know if what I’m doing is wrong and why and what to do about it when desires are oh so strong.
I found myself on Romans 7-8 very quickly, having opened to a random page and flipping a couple randomly and just started reading.
It told me right off the bat we are meant to belong to another person for sex:
4 So, my brothers and sisters, you also died to the law through the body of Christ, that you might belong to another, to him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit for God.
Then it totally describes my dilemma with sex:
15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who does it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature[d] a slave to the law of sin.
And resolution for these misfortunes:
8 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you[e] free from the law of sin and death. 3 For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh,[f] God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering.[g] And so he condemned sin in the flesh, 4 in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.
6 The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. 7 The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so.
Straight up, it says to overcome these desires at all costs:
12 Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. 13 For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.
26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.
He who reaches for spirtual guidance will find it.