I’ve had to remind myself that almost no one knows who I am. So that makes me freer to just say what I want. But I’m still a bit inhibited.
There is one thing that is crazy from my early childhood that is one thing I’ve always wondered about. I don’t even feel prepared to tell about it right now. So moving on.
One of the ways I “feel” “God” is when something lines up perfectly. Not just talking about the really strange coincidence-appearing things, but when something simply lines up in just the way you need it to, or something that was just too perfect to not be the following scene in a movie. Like seeing some plan lay itself out. What about all the details in between?
I struggled with the question for years: Is it all fate or all random? Or the whole action-reaction law of physics and nothing supernatural? Who are we to define supernatural, anyway? We didn’t make it. And we can’t even pretend to really understand anything. It’s like every year we discover how we were wrong in SO many ways. And yes, there is a recent boom in history where we all suddenly learned and made improvements at a much higher rate than like the 1800’s and back. Has a lot to do with the increased and improved modes of communication and travel. More connections have been made, and we’re getting collectively smarter. But still, this has only just begun. Think of how much we’re gonna know in only ONE HUNDRED YEARS at this current rate of exponential expansion of consciousness, assuming we don’t kill each other off by then, intentionally or otherwise. We know so much, but we’re still such idiots, and I cannot count on my human understanding.
That’s why I identify with the idea of following Jesus as much as I do: My personal deepest instincts happen to line up with those teachings. One of my favorite philosophies is keeping in mind that I don’t really understand anything and need to remain open-minded no matter what. Do not count on human understanding. Reach for higher light as much as you can.
It might not be about half the world being dark signs of the end. What if the revolution of kingdoms comes around as a result of the other half having become so much stronger and deeper in their spiritual growth? It’s something to consider because at the same time that things seem to be going to Hell, the remaining parts are becoming stronger to compensate and overcome. Does Jesus’s second coming really occur because we get in such desperate need of him, or could it be that we become strong enough to make him appear and take over evil once and for all? We don’t know that much about the end.
1) Be ready to serve
2) Focus on strengths
3) Be part of the reason there’s revolution and not dissolution.
But anyway, what I was trying to get at earlier is, what about the details in between? I’ve come to the conclusion, through exploration of balance- which I’m not perfectly on board with right now- that life is a combination of fate and randomness. As if there is a general plan, but we come up with the details.
His Will still be done.
They say God knows exactly what you’d do in any situation. But hey, what would be the fun in that? The best parts of artistic design are the things you didn’t anticipate. Like when you see a beautiful hidden meaning in your art piece that you hadn’t intended. I guess God isn’t human and therefore cannot be compared to us. But weren’t we created in his image? I just wanna understand.
But who knows. It is important to me to recognize my ignorance even when I don’t see it. Be humble and remember that the biggest truths are totally unknown to us. We only see things in the way that God or nature or both see fit.
I just don’t know the truth, and unless I know the truth, I won’t claim to. Must always be real, to the best of our abilities. There are things I hide from the world and I feel like I’d be happier if I would just consistently be myself with no self-consciousness or anything like that. And I feel like I can get there, the question is whether I Will.